ANCHOVIES
A Short Film Written and Directed
by Craig Harwood

Haunted by his mother's drowning, a genderqueer teen is forced to spend the day with his father's new health obsessed girlfriend, but he's not interested in the benefits of omega-3 fatty acids, walks on the beach or motherly advice.

Synopsis

Vern, a 16 year old genderqueer boi whose mother drowned five years earlier, sits at a table staring at anchovies. 'Who serves Anchovies for lunch?'  Samantha, Vern's father's new health freak girlfriend, regales the health benefits of anchovies which include depression, but Vern refuses to bite begging, 'Do you have any peanut butter, jelly, some bread?' At the breaking point, Sam suggests a hike and Vern asks “Do you have anything that contains gluten?”

In the middle of the woods, Samantha surprises Vern by taking a drag from Vern's cigarette, talking about her late husband and the difficulties of raising two teenage boys. 'You can't blame me for running out of the house with a machete in one hand and a bottle of tequila in the other.' She almost wins over Vern until she says, 'I'm afraid bad things do happen to good people.' Vern remarks, 'Is that a bumper sticker?' and storms off.

Never deterred, Samantha convinces Vern to go to the beach - a place Vern hasn't been since his mother's drowning 'accident.' Sam goes too far again and asks Vern 'Are you binding? I've done some research and...' Vern slams the bathroom door in Sam's face. Finally, they make it to the ocean. Samantha runs down to the water's edge, but Vern is still haunted by his mother's death. Now facing the waves, Vern can't help himself and dives into the surf coming up for air with a smile.

As the sunsets, Vern opens up and throws Samantha a bone - 'Do you know how to make a pizza that's so good, your head will explode?' Sam responds, 'Pizza's poison.' But Vern finally wins because he knows what Sam really wants, 'You'll really impress my dad.'

That night, Vern makes a killer pizza, half anchovies - half pepperoni, to celebrate the newfound respect these two have discovered for each other.